


Rule Of Three

by ravefromthegrave



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: (dont worry its very small amount), Fluff, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, OH ALSO SOME OTHER WARNINGS, Smoking, also i keep descriptions somewhat ambiguous so its easier to insert your own unique headcannons, also i warn you my english is shit. if there is mistake please telling me about it, and i think thats it? i just want everyone to be safe, gambling but not really, i spend waaaay too long editing i accept no mistakes from this point on, just little bonus because i think everyone deserving that much no?, mentions of neurodivergence but that is up for interpretation, ok now im done sorry, there is drug joke in there but no actual drugs are used or implied, this is really gay so buckle down and get ready for cheesy gooey fluff out the ass, youre getting full homosexual package
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 08:03:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7161605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravefromthegrave/pseuds/ravefromthegrave
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix knows there are three things Locus is really fucking pro at. Aiming, strategy, and head. One of which he was excelling in at the very moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rule Of Three

**Author's Note:**

> surprisingly, its not porn
> 
> what dramatic turn of events
> 
> hope you enjoy! spent months on editing this so yall better comment alright ESPECIALLY if i make grammar mistakes. input is much appreciated.

“You are not going to make the shot.”

“I don't see why not.”

Felix sighed, taking a casual puff of the cigarette in his hand. He blew out the smoke and leaned on the tree beside him. The sun was setting over the tiny, nameless town he and Locus found themselves in. He could hear the buzz of people and cars dimming down, even from the distant hilltop he was observing from. It was relaxing after a long week of putting up with loads of bullshit.

They had both finished a clear out of an old military base the day before. Apparently some piss poor general had lost control over it several years ago, leaving it abandoned. A hot shot gang decided it was the perfect hideout, and, well, every merc knows how the story goes. The poor guys forgot the UNSC kept a close eye on all military outposts, in use or not. And that the UNSC always found the means to eliminate any problems, legal or not.

The only reason Felix even took the job was because he knew Locus liked the militarian structure. Strict orders, no deviations, a step by step guideline that he loved to follow to the point. Not his style personally, but it was a pretty decent paying job. Also, it was kind of hard to refuse when Locus was trying his damnedest to hide how eager he was to take it. Felix just couldn't bring himself to say no.

So after a long week of taking back the entire 8 point outpost- even though Felix insisted it would be an easier, 3 day operation if they worked without those cannon fodder troopers- they decided that a day or two away from mercenary work would be wise. The UNSC had quite the way of draining their skills dry for their own gain. Not that they really cared. Felix knew he was better than them, and Locus was content with himself and his work. That and a couple of extra zeros on their pay check was all Felix could ever ask for. The money could pay for the rest.

Now they were enjoying the peaceful view from a distance, Felix smoking while Locus was fiddling with the compartment pressure on an air gun. Felix always entertained the thought of Locus actually using one of those disgraceful contraptions but never expected him to humor him. Or, in Locus’s case, make him outright cringe.

“Locs, that's a fucking bi bi gun, their accuracy is shit,” Felix gestured with the cigarette in his hand, the other crossed over his chest. “if you had an actual gun, yeah sure.” Locus only shrugged, and continued to calibrate the pathetic excuse for a firearm.

“I can calculate for that, Felix.” Felix let out an exaggerated groan.

“Its not even a _good_ one, it’s like one of those plastic pistols they sell to 12 year olds.”

“16, actually.” Felix chuckled and took another breath of smoke. He stubbed out the rest of the worn cigarette and threw it somewhere in the grass behind him.

“Not according to my history. Still shit though.” Locus took a break from adjusting the gun to give Felix a microscopic smirk and deadpan the next sentence. Or, in shorter words, continue to be the smelliest, most unforgiving asshole the universe had to offer. Maybe more words.

“You gave me this gun. I would assume it would be rude not to put it to use.” Felix narrowed his eyes.

“Oh _bullshit_ ,” Felix spat. “I got the air gun because you gave me a goddamn kitchen knife and said 'Happy Birthday'. You didn't even try!”

“Are you still upset about that?” Felix pouted, keeping himself from saying yes only because Locus would tease him about it. “I made up for it.” Oh Jesus Christ-

“Swallowing _doesn't count_.”

Locus really was a piece of shit. He could be the one who started flirting, and no matter how badly Felix retorted, Locus would be the flustered one in the end. Stammering, red cheeks, busying of hands and all, it was outright adorable. He would even do the hiding-half-of-your-face-with-your-sweater thing. Like right now. His response was muffled by the cloth.

“...S-Sounds like a personal issue. I can still pop their eye from this distance.” For once, it was Felix who rolled his eyes at his partner.

“Ok, _fine_. Bet, asshole.” Felix whipped out his wallet from his pocket, catching Locus’s attention. More proof that despite himself, Locus was undeniably human. Locus took a moment to carefully consider his next sentence.

“I'll take you up on that.” Now he's speaking Felix’s language.

“50-”

“Double.” Locus shot back. Not even an ounce of hesitation. Felix smirked, almost impressed with his confidence. More proud, really. It wasn't common to see him so confident and self assured during the slips of his robotic facade.

“ _Deal_.” He thought about checking to see if he had enough 20s on hand- because like hell Felix was going to give him a solid 100- but decided against it. It wasn't like he was going to lose, and having the gall to not check was a gesture of confidence, if anything else. “You know, I never saw you as the gambling type.”

“Because, _Felix_ ,” Locus hissed his name, to point out his partner’s own vices. “I don't take wagers unless I know I'll win.” Felix huffed, indignant at the subtle accusation.

“And _I'm_ the egotistical one.”

“You are.”

“Whatever. 500 meters. Pop their eye with that bi bi gun.” Felix reached for Locus’s sniper rifle while speaking, and Locus furrowed his eyebrows, snatching his precious weapon. Felix sighed in exasperation as Locus held it tightly to his chest. He hated it when Locus got so… _iffy_.

“I’m recording with the camera linked to your sniper scope so I can make sure you aren't bullshitting me,” Felix explained. “I'm not going to break it.” Locus gave him a hard look and eventually let go, allowing Felix to rewire the camera. He was always paranoid and protective of his armor and weapons, and only trusted Felix with them, even if barely. If that said anything about their fucked up relationship, Felix pretended to not care enough to make the metaphor.

“So, those are the terms. You miss, you give me 100 and you're treating me to whatever I want. You hit, I’ll do the same.” Felix stopped to consider, a dramatic pause wondering if being a patronizing asshole was worth irritating Locus. It always was.

“You know what, I'll even throw in a _bonus_ ,” Felix drawled. “I'll get rid of all the evidence too, since chances are you'll miss anyway and I’ll be paying for a new, expensive, huge ass pack of beer with _your_ money. How's that~?” Locus grunted in acknowledgement.

“Fair enough.” Felix grinned, holding up the rifle and testing its sights. Of course Locus was too much of a prideful bastard to back down. This was going to be _perfect_.

“Better have that 100 out and ready when you lose~”

“ _I_ won't.” Felix raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Lose, I, I won't _lose-_ ”

“Mhmm, sure buddy. Way to fuck it up. Just take your shot and give me my money.” Locus sighed and rolled his shoulders, preparing himself to make the shot of a lifetime. Not because his or his partner’s life was actually at risk, oh no. It was even worse. A life threatening bullet wound couldn't compare to the importance of this shot. Pride was on the line, and if he lost, well only God knows the kind of havoc Felix can wreak on a poor man's ego.

He tried gaining sights on his target. It was hard to see through the swarm of people, but trained eyes were able to focus and hone in on a just distinguishable group. Their facial features were blurred, but considering natural human proportions and probability of how they would move, Locus made the best estimate of where one of their eyes could be. He waited for his path to be perfectly clear, without other civilians blocking his path. He wasn't sure how accurate his vision was at 500 meters, but he gave himself the benefit of the doubt.

He aimed above the target’s head by a calculated measure that Locus found while playing with the air gun earlier. The bi bi would follow a broad arc, given its base range, instead of a more horizontal line of fire as a real gun would do. However, given the adjusted pressure, the arc would be shorter in amplitude and apply to a longer range. This way, he could maximize the distance and possibly still hold enough power to cause damage his target's unsuspecting eye.

However, there was still the issue of accuracy. The spin of this particular gun, he found, cut off a little early, making the bullet lean slightly towards the left when shot. Considering the wind coming from the North, Locus cared to aim more towards the right to make up for the skewed-

“I'm getting bored here, babe.” It might have been 3 minutes, at the most, since he spoke. New record.

“Patience. This isn't about sheer luck,” Locus started, falling for Felix’s distraction despite his efforts to remain focused on the task at hand. “There is a solid algorithm, a strategy that is purely mathematical, when making any shot. A simple yet vital equation in which one must thoughtfully and precisely determine the variables to the last decimal. Unless calculated to the very point, the results could deviate tremendously from the correct va-”

“Ugh, if I wanted to talk to nerds about algorithms and equations I would've actually gone to calculus in school instead of having a social life and getting higher than a first time junkie ODing on a pure bag.” Felix groaned, blunt and impatient as always. Locus couldn't tell if he was joking, so he stayed silent, a little concerned for his partner’s health and embarrassed that he was confused by Felix’s reaction. Again. Felix picked up from the brief awkward silence and continued. “Your wording was almost poetic though, so I'll give you credit for that.” Locus didn’t respond this time either, now pointedly ignoring the other merc instead of hesitating to reply. Sometimes entertaining Felix’s banter wasn’t even worth the trouble and mixed signals.

_Jackass_ , Felix thought as he looked back into the scope of the rifle to see where the bi bi would go.

Felix wasn't going to deny his true feelings though. Despite his nonchalance and sass, the excitement was bubbling inside him. Felix grinned, adjusting the scope while thinking to himself. It was times like these, whether here or in the battlefield, that were his favorite. The risk, the anticipation, the rush, and then _the win_. Gambling and war weren't too different, really. You win some, you lose some. Over time and experience, however, the wins outweigh the losses. That must be why Felix was so good at both. Or so he thinks.

When Locus stopped 'calculating' and finally aligned his sights, Felix thought he might just explode from suspense. It was eerily tense, yet ironically fitting for two ruthless mercs gambling in such a serene place. He now paid close attention to the scope, and heard Locus letting out a deep breath beside him.

A single shot echoed throughout the hills. Wind whistled through the silence. Soon, the distant cawing of birds followed, flying out of the brittle trees in alarm. Felix was silent.

~¤~

“No fucking way-”

“I would like my monetary reward.”

Felix looked from the panicked crowd and the bleeding person in his scope to Locus, then back again. He was gawking in disbelief, nearly speechless. “That's, that's not _possible!_ ”

“You’re recording it as we speak. I have video evidence” He was right. As Felix looked back to the scene before him, people were screaming and running as if they were under actual gunfire, at least 6 people were dialing 911- no doubt a sign they should get moving soon- and the target was clutching the left side of his face, mouthing the words 'MY EYE! MY EYE!'

“Y-you!” Felix stammered as he pointed his finger at Locus. “You _cheated!_ ” Locus shrugged his shoulders, chuckling to himself. Seeing Felix being a pouty sore loser was definitely going to be the highlight of his day.

“You said it was my gun, and you modified it yourself to give it more damage so-”

“So what, you sharpened a fucking _kitchen knife?_ It's still a _goddamn_ kitchen knife and that's still a _goddamn bi bi gun!_ ”

Locus began to laugh, whether it was in disbelief or gleeful victory, hell, maybe even at Felix, he was laughing. It should have felt patronizing, but another, nameless feeling clouded that. When Locus tried to control himself through snickering, and then failing, when he grinned so openly as he packed away his _fucking air gun_ , when Locus’s shoulders shook with his deep, rumbling laughter, Felix was absolutely stricken.

Felix, lost in this swelling feeling in his chest, simply stared on, a small, uncharacteristically shy smile creeping onto his face. He couldn't bring himself to say anything, his mouth going dry and face heating up.

“We should move. Keep reacting, I think you'll blend in with the crowd.” _Mood killer_. Felix snapped out of his thoughts and his ears turned red with embarrassment. Locus wasn't exactly wrong, Felix did shout and then become tongue tied, but for completely different reasons.

“You- just! Just shut the fuck up!” In the end, there was nothing really substantial in Locus’s jest, mocking and rude as it was. No one knew where the bullet came from and no one thought to spend time in the yellow grassy hills. No witnesses, no fuss. Felix began ranting to cover for his major fuck up as they walked down the hill, making their way towards their parking spot.

“You know what, you are a piece of fermenting _shit_. Not even a big piece of shit, no you're like that really rocky, dry one you spend an hour trying to get out, but in the end, it's about the size of a pebble. And it smells too. Or even worse, _sandpaper diarrhea_.” Locus cringed and that expression alone made Felix grin wickedly. Locus just looked at him in disdain. “What Locs, not enough detail?”

“Stop being disgusting.”

“ _You’re_ disgusting.” Felix shot back. Locus hummed before smugly replying.

“That's not a nice thing to say on my birthday. Didn't you say something about ‘birthday rights’ a few months ago?” Felix gave him an incredulous look and gestured wildly with his arms.

“Newsflash, you're turning 32, not 4!”

“And you're 36 but you still insisted I treat you like a king.” Well, Locus wasn't _exaggerating_ per say…

But really, if he had an excuse to end the day in a high end hotel, rolling in cash with Locus’s head between his legs, and leave a few corpses in his wake, it would be a shame _not_ to follow through.

“Hey, first of all, I should always be treated as a king. I'm goddamn _royalty_. Second, 36 is 33 years away from being 69 so that's different.”

“How is that even relevant-”

“Third, I'm older than you. When your mother was unfortunate enough to have you crawling out of her vagina, or I guess she fucked up when you were conceived, I was about 4. Do you even _know_ the shit I did when I was 4? Just ask my fucking puppy slippers, they used to be alive!” Locus took a deep breath and considered his entire relationship with this man before speaking again.

“Stop talking.” Felix hated that response. Typical Locus. The only reason he gave in is because poor Locus has already been provided his daily dose of Felix’s… unique… phrases and recollections, and they were on vacation after all.

The sky was getting darker, shades of vibrant oranges and reds bleeding into deep purple and navy as the sun began to sink into the horizon. The breeze wasn't too chilly, just on the right side of sharp and cool, and their shadows were obscured by the taller grass and native plant life. Felix risked a glance at his partner only to find he was still smiling. 

He was gazing at the sky like a high idiot- even though Felix refused to admit he just did the same thing- his face openly content as they strolled in the empty hills. Felix hoped that maybe if he milked this moment, he could get away with not paying Locus anything.

That must be it. Has nothing to do with the light blush on his cheeks, or the happiness that bled onto Felix’s own face the longer he looked at Locus. Their hands brushed, and Felix, thinking along the lines of 'fuck it', took it in his own. Just for a distraction. Not because it _meant_ anything. What the hell, that would be gay and sappy as fuck. Felix was better than that. Better than Locus too.

His thoughts began to trail off. What dumb luck, not only did he pop someone's eye, but he made Felix look like a arrogant, sappy, good looking fool. Whatever, Locus 1, Felix 1000. He could win a bet against Locus any day. With both hands behind his back, and a blindfold. Probably. Maybe.

Locus’s arm hesitantly wrapped around his waist and Felix leaned into the touch. Locus held Felix more confidently now, slightly leaning against him too. The embrace grew more comfortable and secure the longer they strolled in the grass, glowing red now as the sun set nearly out of view.

He sighed, resting his head against Locus’s chest. Felix was definitely not savoring this. He was just being generous on Locus’s birthday, that's all. That's why he lost the bet, it was on purpose. Felix grumbled, voicing his thoughts and betraying his earlier plans.

“My four year old self still would’ve straight up kicked your grubby newborn ass.” So much for his shit-talk filter.

Locus rolled his eyes, amazed that Felix could possibly be so bitter about losing. He really shouldn't be, considering Felix’s impeccable talent for holding grudges. But then an idea popped in his head. He smiled mischievously and spun Felix around, surprising him.

“Hey-!” Felix exclaimed, but soon he was facing Locus, mere centimeters away from him. Locus reached to hold Felix’s face in his hand, soothingly tracing his features before resting on his jaw. Locus could feel Felix’s face heating up, and his pupils were blown with wonder and glazed over with a little something else that made Locus believe that Felix wasn't as pissed as he claimed to be. Felix glanced to the side, blushing, while he breathlessly chuckled and tried to brush Locus aside. “Lo…”

“Felix,” he softly replied, Locus's voice deep and rumbling, the way Felix loved to hear him. Locus leaned in closer to whisper right by his ear, and Felix forgot how to breathe for a moment.

“I really don't care.”

Felix’s jaw dropped and his eyes were wide with disbelief. The absolute bluntness of Locus’s response to Felix’s jackassery left him completely blank. Locus barely contained his amusement as a grin cracked on his face. He struggled to keep his voice soft and neutral.

“The fact is I kicked your grubby 36 year old ass today, and I still expect you to hold your end of the bargain.” He kissed Felix's temple, mockingly sappy, just like the whole stupid situation.

Felix took a moment to process what just happened. Did… did Locus just see through his plan?

“You…” Felix started, grasping for words. “...are such a fucking _asshole!!_ ” he shrieked, fuming at the way Locus was laughing his ass off. He slapped away Locus’s hand on his jaw and the arm around his waist, storming his way towards their car.

“Felix, Felix, oh god, wait-” Locus was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. “Your _face-!_ ” Another laughing fit. Felix scowled, his plan now officially and completely foiled. In the worst way possible. Of all time. All because of that damned gorgeous laugh.

Locus was dragging behind him, red with laughter. Once they reached the car, he was wheezing, hands on his knees and trying to catch his breath. Felix, however, was far from amused. He ripped open the car door and leaned against it while digging around in his pocket for his wallet. He found it and chucked it at Locus, hitting him with a satisfying smack in the middle of his forehead. It made Felix feel a little better. That was until Locus laughed even harder, ruining Felix’s short, sweet victory by making Felix’s heart skip a beat.

“Just take the 100 and get in the goddamn car.”


End file.
